Last Updated: July 30, 2025
Cristina Sequeira, Registered Manager at Infinity Care discusses the realities of caring for someone with dementia; looking at some of the problems family carers may experience, and how and when professional care and support can help.
When dementia care moves into the home, it doesn’t just shift routines. It shifts lives. In the UK, there are currently an estimated 982,000 people living with dementia, and around 540,000 family members providing unpaid care for someone with dementia in England alone. Suddenly, the family kitchen becomes a care setting, and the people closest to the person living with dementia become their primary source of support.
As a registered manager, mum, and former carer myself, I’ve stood on both sides. I’ve felt the pressure of trying to get it right, and I’ve watched countless families juggle love, responsibility, and exhaustion. What I’ve learned is this: families don’t just need services. They need guidance, empathy, and someone to walk with them through the messiness of real life.
Why Practical Guidance Doesn’t Always Reach the People Who Need It
There is a lot of advice available – websites, leaflets, professional handouts – but most of it feels too clinical or too general. Dementia doesn’t follow a rulebook, and what works in one home may not work in another.
Care Providers, like Infinity Care, meet family carers who have tried everything Google suggests. They’ve read, researched and reached out, but they still feel overwhelmed. This is because real support isn’t just about information. It’s about having someone show up, listen, and adapt to what your family needs – not what a manual says you should do.
The Emotional Weight Carried by Unpaid Carers
Behind every call received, is a story. Sometimes it’s a son supporting both his dad and his own children. Sometimes it’s a neighbour stepping in out of love and loyalty. More often than not, it’s someone trying to be everything for everyone and slowly running out of steam.
We often talk about the physical demands of caregiving, but the emotional burden is often heavier. There’s grief, frustration, guilt, and fear – all tangled together, silently weighing down carers.
I remember one daughter in particular. She reached out after months of trying to manage alone. Her mum, once independent, started becoming confused and agitated in the evenings. The daughter was working full-time, caring full-time, and barely sleeping. She told me, “I feel like I’m failing her.”
We began with evening visits – gentle support to help settle her mum into a calm routine. Within a week, things changed. Her mum was more relaxed, and the daughter finally slept through the night. She later said, “I didn’t know it could feel this different.” That’s the kind of care families deserve; care that holds everyone in view.
What Families Really Need from Home Care
Scheduled visits matter, but it’s the in-between moments that often define what real care feels like.
Families need more than a checklist. They need someone to notice, explain, and reassure. They need carers who understand the person with dementia – and the family loving them.
It’s important for care providers to make time for these moments. To build in extra minutes during visits; even 30 minutes can make a difference. To encourage our team to connect, observe, and communicate clearly with family carers. Sometimes that means helping with the dog or just listening. What matters is that families feel we’re with them, not just passing through.
Why It’s Getting Harder – and Why We Keep Showing Up
The truth is that providers are under pressure. Budgets are tight, staffing is difficult, and costs keep rising.
And yet, we carry on – not because it’s easy, but because it matters. Our small, local team knows clients by name. We build long-term relationships. While we can’t fix everything, we do everything to keep care human. That might mean staying late, adjusting plans, or being available when someone needs to talk. Behind the scenes, it’s a juggle. But on the front line, it’s about love, trust, and respect.
Simple Things That Can Make a Big Difference at Home
Every dementia journey is different, but here are helpful steps many families find valuable:
- Create a consistent routine
Repetition can bring comfort. Try to keep meals, music, or quiet time at similar times each day - Label important areas
Signs on doors or drawers reduce confusion and help maintain independence - Keep a care journal
Write down behaviours, moods, or what calms your loved one. Patterns often emerge - Ask for help early
Seeking support before you’re overwhelmed can prevent burnout. A little help goes a long way - Take care of yourself too
You can’t pour from an empty cup. Your wellbeing matters just as much.
You’re Not Alone
Dementia doesn’t just affect the person diagnosed. It changes the rhythm of the entire household. Caring can be beautiful and intimate, but it can also feel isolating and exhausting.
If you’re on this journey, know this: you are not alone. Support exists, and it can transform not just what care is provided, but how it feels.
If you are looking for extra support, use our Search for Care to identify home care providers near you, or request a free copy of your Local Care Directory.
